Having more than one wife, may be exciting but loaded with responsibilities and needs a lot of wisdom. Such a culture is what we ‘drink’ here, is it outmoded? Not really.
40% of Men in Wa are practicing it whilst 25% are intending to put it to practice because they see it to be acceptable in islam or In Tradition based on generation influence or competition with others. This Habit of polygamy makes one spend more money on domestic issue unnoticed.
Having more than one wife has advantages just like it has disadvantages, let’s first look at the merits.
- More wives means more attention and care that would mean saying goodbye to loneliness, this keeps the heart stronger reasons being that loneliness makes the heart grow fonder.
- More Support: with more wives one has people to look up to for ideas and even financial support when unstable, social support is not left out.
- Large Family: Down north, we believe a large family is a blessing, the more reason why people marry more women to produce more kids that they believe would turn successful and supportful.
- Competition for attention: all wives would need your attention and what happens if you give one more attention than the other? She resorts to friends for possible solutions to gain your attention, just hope they don’t pollute her mind that’s where your downfall starts, some women resort to spiritualists who even sleep with them in the name of helping them. Some give substances to them to be kept in your food just to gain your attention, you are slowly getting poisoned all in the name of having your attention, some are even deceived by friends in various forms to achieve such a target.
- Overspending: More women more resources used to please them, once you buy a cloth for one you should make it available to the others, what happens if you have no money? Go borrow? Probably during occasions, that is where overspending starts.
- Less Investment: with more women more problems come inn thus more in-laws, we all know the problems they come with. You have to satisfy all of your wives to avoid being selective thus without the undivided attention you would never have a stable mind. More problems coming in more funerals, more contributions, more kids, more school fees needed, more food needed to feed the family, more clothes needed, more electricity used etc. how do you invest?
- Wayward Kids: 70% of children from polygamous families grow through rivalry and have that ‘dry’ heart of unnecessary jealousy, no sympathy attitude, some lack parental care as some of them lose their parents especially their father at a tender age, support is lost and they strive through thick and thins no one to run to, no one to advice them to take the right decisions as their mothers mostly go into different marriages and leaving their kids behind, more children less resources, one would have to compete with more than 5 brothers for a room to stay and what’s wonderful is that those kids are from different mothers not willing to share because they feel they are not from the same mother, what next? Division, a long division amongst a single family that was once united, not all women are destined to be marriage materials.
The woman you marry may make you or unmake you just be wise.
80% of men with one wife are highly successful than polygamous ones:
- Less Spending More Investment
- More Attention for the family
- Sacrifice becomes key. Am for you and you are for me is assured.
- Less in-laws and extended family problems.
- Less division amongst offsprings due to one mother one father policy.
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By: Tuorimuo Elvis Philip/Upperwestmedia.net